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31st August 2002
It's technically the 1st of Sep but that would involve setting up a new page and I'm too drunk to do that right now.
Spencer keeps falling over.
Sebastien is hideously, hideously drunk.
Andrew is being a slutty drunk and is covered in vodka.
Gherkin is encouraging them all.
Lindsay is just quietly mocking us and storing what she sees for future use.
Anne is very happy.
I will describe the sober part of the evening at another date. There was psycho uno. Anne's dog is DRUNK from drinking red wine off Anne's pants (yeah right).
Sebastien is quite loud. He is soooo not going to remember this in the morning so I'm glad he'll have this journal entry to remind him of his drunken efforts. He used the word 'doodle' in a genital context a lot earlier.
Seb just said something grotty and I didn't hear it but everyone was grossed out and started hitting him.
Yes, another entry when sober will detail the earlier part of the evening including the five car convoy through Bardon, the park adventures, Mcdonalds and the SUNCORP RIVERFIRE.
OK It's taking everyone to keep the boy under control.
Another time, dear journal.
30th August 2002
Finally saw Y Tu Mama Tambien today with Sebastien... a wacky hot sex romp with two studly Mexicans and a hot lassie (the movie, not my time with Sebastien). There was an awful lot of penis in that movie. In fact there was an awful lot of sex. There weren't even any opening credits- it just went straight into a hardcore sex scene. And then there was the magnificent diving board scene of the cum hitting the water. It was an excellent movie, though hard to enjoy all the rampant boy nudity due to the occasional social message thrown in. And, unlike most teen road movies, it kinda ends on a bit of a downer.
But 'nuff said. Had a great time with ol' Sebastien this afternoon, and I really would like to see him again but we'll see what he thinks about that ;)
I think I saw a dead body today. On Coronation Drive there was this car crash. It wasn't even mildly horrific- the front of the car had been smashed and the windscreen shattered and there was oil and shit all over the road but there was a woman in the driver's seat with her eyes closed and covered in blood. The ambulance guy wasn't really doing much either. It was very very odd in that there was no other damaged car nearby, and the car was in the middle lane.
She may, and I hope, have just been unconscious. But I would have thought the ambulance men would have been doing more? The blood could be from the windscreen and head wounds tend to bleed an awful lot. However, there was a woman standing nearby who wasn't an ambo and she didn't look particularly distraught.
Hm. I don't know. I hope she's ok.
Y Tu Guestbook Tambien! 29th August 2002
There were an extraordinary amount of hot people on my way home from Con today. It was most distracting.
Speaking of which, James Campbell is a Cleo centrefold with an artfully draped towel. I had to buy a Cleo which I have since donated to Mum. She brought it to the dinner table tonight to show Dad then suddenly she freaked and ran away because she was showing a Cleo centrefold to my younger brothers at the dinner table. I swear, my family is getting more disturbing. Then there was a long, long discussion about the word cock. When the evening couldn't get any classier, Mum (who had returned post-Cleo embarassment), out of the blue, asked me if I auditioned for Puppetry of the Penis. I'm not sure where that came from. Whereupon William went in to hysterics and called out the various forms such as "Hamburger!" "Eiffel Tower" "Beef Stroganoff!" and so forth.
THEN, as follows naturally from genital origami, we got on to the subject of Dad's family which is always entertaining. We joked that Anne should've come to my Gran's 80th (which I missed, being horribly sick with dengue fever) to meet the wacky lot. Whereupon Mum doth protest that she would be drilled to bits by Dad's brother who is very unsubtle and tactless as... an unsubtle and tactless person I believe. This led on to various responses to the hypothetical inevitable question from Dad's bro "so when's the wedding?"
Please choose from the following responses:
- It will have to pretty soon before the... well you know... shows.
- Friday the 13th. Anne is wearing black.
- In Byron Bay on the Summer Solistice. We want to get back to our sense of one-ness with nature and we will be getting married naked and exchanging genital rings. Guests will be expected to be naked as well. So I'll see you all there?
I bet Alex, my youngest brother, goes to school and shares these enlightening dinner conversations with all his friends and teachers.
There are still people looking at the house. The terrifyingly large floral arrangement (gift from an agent) in a blue pot the size of a small car has been shifted to the front verandah where it is ALMOST in proportion with the rest of the house.
I still maintain I was swapped with Prince William at birth.
Damn intercontinental hospital mix ups.
Guestbook. 26th August 2002
As I've spent all my time getting past halfway on my Rossini assignment, for your amusement and pleasure here is...
an orgy of pathetic quiz results
want to see which store in the mall you are? then take this quiz & others.
this quiz was created by amber & her lovely boyfriend cleve.
Take the Dessert Quiz
Ok now THAT was a bit excessive. Oh well, it will add some much needed colour to the page. And I've been so horrifically horny today it will take my mind of the constant urge to masturbate/fuck.
Thought you'd like to know that.
Guestbook a-bitchin' 25th August 2002
Long time no journalling.
Not much has happened.
I've worked an awful lot recently... including my first ever Setdown shift at QPAC. It wasn't THAT horrible but still pretty ghastly, and I wasn't THAT cold as all the carbon monoxide kept me warm. We had a woman cough up blood and the DM whom I'm not fond of decided that when the ambos arrived he'd go out for a smoke. GRAH.
Fri nite saw Joernmeister's housewarming in West End. Je n'aime pas le West End. The streets are way narrow and the houses are packed together very scarily. You couldn't watch a porno movie without the whole street knowing, and that is too horrible to contemplate. But Joern was very trashed which is always amusing, and I met his funky friend Kellie WHO IS ALSO A DESIGNER for theatre productions like mine! Due to the complete lack of Fiona in recent weeks, Kellie may find herself landed with some hardcore music theatre shintoism.
mmmm loud helicopter overheard...
I was all psyched to see Mexican porn pretending to be art films about hot teenage boys having sex in Spanish but it turns out No One wants to see it today. Bastards.
Anne and I are now going to Thailand, and all my AYO apps will be posted at the end of the month... am thinking of a Bangkok/Chiang Mai/Sukhothai round trip. Shall be grand, I'm sure.
Last night saw the world premiere of my Brief Notes on Canberra by the glorious St Peter's Chorale and the equally glorious Graeme Morton. Was most chuffed, and they all rock ROCK ON ST PETER'S!
This Guestbook Is Not in Thailand 20th August 2002
Gay V has arrived! YES!
But oh dear...
You Are a Cyberskank!
When it comes to online antics, you know how you rank.
You aren't yet a slut, but you are a cyberskank!
Now put that webcam in your shower,
And your visitors will soar by the hour!
Are *You* a Cyberslut?
You Are a Blowjob Queen!
19th August 2002
I just realised something horrible.
Fans of Ian's Life may realise my distate for the current fad for distressed denim.
My old pair of jeans which I love so much are distressed. But they're naturally distressed.
I hope the general populace realises this, and does not hold me to ransom when I'm wearing distressed jeans next season.
Guestbook 16th August 2002
Got sicker. Well shit. Can't really move without feeling urge to vomit. However, Anne proved her general wonderfulness by coming over to visit me and providing drugs, bless.
Con is run by shitty people who make me come in for a meeting then forget to schedule it. Almost died in taxi home. Grah.
Anne, in what is surely a lapse of good judgement, has joined the fag hag community livejournal. Some clearing up of what exactly a fag hag is, is surely in order. Fag hags come in four basic varieties.
1. Fag Hags. These are the wonderful ones, somewhat like a combination sister/best friend. These are the ones who visit you when you're sick with strong drugs, will listen to your endless sex crap, agree that men suck and so not in a good way and so forth. Most importantly though, they have their own life. They're also not afraid to tell their fag to "grow up", "get the fuck over it" or "you're being a shithead. fuck off". Read on, dear reader.
2. Fag Stags. Much rarer in the wild (the giant panda of the hag world, if you like). Basically a male fag hag. Sometimes however they have dubious intentions of seducing all those hags in the gay bars. Quite frankly, some of the slags could use it.
3. Fag Shags. Women who may be wonderful, sincere, sensitive, funny and everything else you need in a fag hag except for one vital point- they have an overwhelming urge to fuck their fag's brains out. This is not always a bad thing, but can cause irritable tension between fag shag and anyone the gay boy actually is fucking for real leading to eventual disintergration of friendship (regardless of category, a good fag hag will never criticise a male interest until the fag does it first).
4. Fag Slags. To be avoided at all costs. Hags, if you feel yourself slowly transforming in to a fag slag the only honourable way out is seppuku. Gay men hate fag slags. Fag Slags define every aspect of their life by their gay friends, as opposed to their own personality. They're scary, and gay men will either be openly awful to them or only talk to them out of pity. Some hints of fag slaggery (though by no means conclusive): a fag slag usually only has gay boy friends; a fag slag will not go to anything or anywhere unless she is accompanied by a gay boy; a fag slag gets really excited when the fag's family assume she is his girlfriend (this may or may not border in to Fag Shag territory- and I'm not talking about passing amusement, more deep satisfaction); Slags will never ever criticise their fag or argue, as their insecurities make them think that this means they will lose their fag; a Slag turns down a relationship with a straight boy cos he's not gay enough; and so on.
Be on guard.
I tried to amuse myself with some online quizzes, but this was the only result worth posting-
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I Am The Sex Toy:
Knowledge: So I might not be the first sex toy on everyones mind, but lets be honest about where sexual power really comes from.
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| Find out what sex toy you are. |
| More Fag Hags Than You Can Poke a Stick At Not a Slag in Sight at my Guestbook! 15th August 2002
No wonder I was feeling seedy... turns out I was actually QUITE SICK.
But no matter, am feeling muchly better now... and all soiled clothes are washed. And I've started re-introducing flavour to my diet. It's all good.
Apart from horrific dengue fever-type illness life has been very boring. My Saintly Mother drove me into Con to hand in a shitty assignment, and the drive almost killed me. Had to lie down when I got home. Not enjoyable overly so.
IN OTHER NEWS I forgot to mention I saw Emma after months of hiatus yesterday afternoon at the 'dro.
Our conversation:
Me: OMG! Where have you been?
Emma: Oh uni and stuf.... oh and I went to Greece!
As you do.
Grecian Guestbookery 14th August 2002
GRAH. Why do I feel so frickin seedy. I had 2 and a half drinks over like five hours. But I think it may have something to do with the no-sleep-lying-awake until 4am thing.
The night was full of amusement Chez Dave... particularly Thommo & I's entry for P "A Stick Thing" in Scattergories... PETER'S PUSSY PURPLE PENIS POST POKING PATRICIA and so on. We got oooodles of points for that.
And then the wooden spoon incidents. And the looking up porn with Stu on Dave's puter. And let's not forget Andrew disappearing for 2 and a half hours when he said he'd be gone for 20 minutes. There may or may not have been mysterious Erin involvement.
Then there was drunken Sarah in Andy's car on the way home. When we were ready to leave we couldn't find her, but turns out she was up the road foraging in someone's wheelie bin. She'd pulled out a donut box and was holding it to the sky and was calling it the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It was odd. Especially when she got really distraught as we tried to get her in the car, away from her donut box.
Grah.
Anne has some drunken live-journalling below.
I have to stop this unhealthy obsession with internet quizzes.
Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz
Anne's hilarious drunken ramblings Drunken Guestbook 13th August 2002
Technically the 13th hasn't happened yet BUT frickin' Who Wants to be a Millionaire hasn't finished yet, and hence Six Feet Under won't be over until well after midnight. Damn.
- Charlotte, NC
- Norfolk, VA
- Richmond, VA
- Seattle, WA
- Tulsa, OK
- Oklahoma City, OK (is that the code for Oklahoma? Oh well.)
- Chesapeake, VA
- Portland, OR (Oregon?)
- Louisville, KY
- Nashville, TN (Tennessee... bugger country music...)
- Cincinnati, OH
- St Louis, MS (Missouri)
- Wilmington, DW
- Baltimore, MA (Maryland?)
- Atlanta, GA
- Philadelphia, PA
- Manhattan, NY
- Birmingham, AL
- Columbus, OH
- Long Island, NY
- New York, NY
- Memphis, TN
- Indianapolis, IN
- Colorado Springs, CO
Millionaire still hasn't finished. Hell, it's only 45minutes over time. Damn them to hell.
You Belong in my Guestbook 12th August 2002
Nothing of note. So here are some quiz results instead.
You Are a Kogyaru!
If it's cute, you'll wear it. Fake and bake, hair bleach, and bright makeup line your bathroom cabinet.
As for clothes - anything that's short and cute ("kawaii!").
You are the prize object of all sorts of men - but you are really looking for a rich foreign guy.
He'll find you out hanging out in Shibuya shopping at the 109, text messaging and sending photos over your cellphone.
What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?
What kind of Drug Addict are you?
What's Your Movie Dream Car?
by Auto Glass America
Holy Guestbooks Batman! 11th August 2002
Long time, no journalling.
There was an Ekka adventure yesterday- you can read Anne's (having crossed to the dark side) live journal about it below. But there were lots of pretty lights and shiny things, and I probably rendered Anne sterile due to the pressure on her hips on the Hurricane.
And then there was The Boy On The Train. mmmmmmmm
On the 7th, I noted with surprise my urge to kill performers had diminished. Ho ho ho, was I in for a surprise. I came perilously close on Thursday night when at 11pm one of the accompanists for yesterday announced he couldn't play the music he'd had since June cos he hadn't looked at it and pulled out. So I rang him and abused him in a controlled and professional manner. It was a release from the shitty Mamma Mia episode. The concert went well and was substantially improved by the decorative appearance of Sebastien (who you can also find below!).
Karlo's QPAC funky party on Friday night was indeed funky, and there were many decorative, perfect attractive people. And I got to bond with funky QPACers, like myself of course, about shitty managers, Barney Rubble and creepy ushers feeling us up.
A good time was had by all.
Anne's Ekka Report 2002 Decorative, Useful and Everyone Should Have One in the Home Roll Up! Roll Up! Sign My Guestbook, Give it a Look! Don't be a chook! (insert Ekka music here) 7th August 2002
Four remarkable things happened today, sooooo in order...
4. I actually can do quite comfortably what we're looking at in Tonal Analysis at the moment. Let's celebrate this while it lasts.
3. I only felt the undeniable urge to kill one musician at Con today. This is an improvement on yesterday, when the potential deathcount was much higher. However, the Designers I Wish To Maim tally rose to 1.
2. I came out of Opera Studies on my break to see Claire standing next to a noticeboard. This was unexpected and thrilling.
1. In a moment of visual grandeur, a group of American jocks were playing baseball in Southbank sans shirts. How I was excited. Every single one of them showed the benefits of a considerable amount of sport and exercise. Hurrah for jocks. Hurrah! Subsequently, I wasted 30 minutes of necessary Rossini research time, but, deep down, I feel that this 30 minutes was not truly wasted at all. If Howard's stance of 110% Bush Support means that more American jocks will reach our shores, preferably shirtless, I'm prepared to wrap myself in the Stars and Stripes and sing God Bless America.
Postscript- I just discovered this site was found on google.com! I'm number 10 at google.com for "max ernst the hat makes the man"
The Guestbook. As hot as the American Jocks. 4th August 2002
I'm becoming very involved in the Netball at the C'wealth Games. This is the first event I've become involved with and the whole thing finished tonight... it's nailbitingly close and I've never watched Netball before! Australia has never lost a world standard final since 1987... and they were 1 pt down until 5 seconds before full time and they've now gone into deadlock extra time... GRAH!
Just got home from the Beat with the lovely Bumblebee Claire with a sexy new haircut... and I also saw Owen!
But there was a disturbing amount of cute gay couples making out. Bastards. And quite a number of straight couples the same age of my parents... what's with that? Part of me thought it was cute when they made out, but part of me was deeply disturbed. And the DJ could've been the same age as my mum... she was even wearing a fob chain!!!
Guestbook 3rd August 2002
Art Gallery Concert #1 went off brilliantly! I was most impressed with myself actually... and the assistant director of the gallery was absolutely thrilled! But, it was the easiest one to manage... the next two will be progressively harder.
AND! I finally bought my sexy as $160 Ben Sherman shirt and now I feel SEXY AS. And I got to buy it from a nice store, Marz, as opposed to the godforsaken shithole York.
Guestbook, almost as sexy as my new shirt. But not quite. 2nd August 2002
Just watched Amelie with my parents... all my friends have gone out!
I took the day off from rehearsals etc... to de-stress and un-cold... but then was woken up by a real estate agent wanting to bring people through the house which led to a frantic clean and stuffing all manner of belongings into non-fixture wardrobes. Then I had to take the dog to the park, where I sat for 45mins. The last 15mins I was entertained/disturbed by a crazy man wanting to bile out Jedda, ie... make her vomit to get rid of the excess bile from her stomach. I nodded politely.
Then the computer didn't want to work, so I yelled "fucking piece of shit" and threw the mouse quite a bit. Then I forgot the mailbox key. I met Anne at the 'dro extremely stroppy and smelly as I hadn't had a shower. I don't think I was very good company. And the one time I was extremely eager to spend money in the godforsaken hole YORK, they didn't have the frickin' item I wanted.
But I bought new work shoes. Yay. But I'm getting a huge double headed pimple on my cheek. Cry.
Guestbookery 1st August 2002
Sweet jesus god it's August already.
mercy....
Work was long and involved Barry Crocker. I do not need to say anymore on the subject.
The purpose of this entry is 1. to celebrate Augusthood (cry) and 2. to announce my Cluedo book finally arrived and the world can stop worrying.
AND! I've been invited to a cool QPAC party! I realise I shouldn't be so excited, if I'm intending to give the image of popular sophistication, but dammit I AM EXCITED!
Guestbookage |
